


blind bake

by luxaucupe



Series: terra firma [9]
Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: F/F, LITERALLY, Recipes, Short & Sweet, all i want in life, also i love lemon bars and am projecting, and maybe also run a baking blog, is for renee minkowski and isabel lovelace to be happy, the world may never know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-16 10:47:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21506623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luxaucupe/pseuds/luxaucupe
Summary: I think we can all agree on one thing: If you don’t put lemon zest in your lemon bars, you’re wrong.
Relationships: Isabel Lovelace/Renée Minkowski
Series: terra firma [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1040930
Comments: 20
Kudos: 77





	blind bake

**Author's Note:**

> alas! the real final installment in terra firma, now that i've given everyone an epilogue-esque farewell. this one's weird too. you know the drill.  
> am i done writing w359 fics? i mean let's be real almost certainly not. i would die for daniel jacobi and also i've already written 20 whole ass fics do you really think i could resist keeping this train a-rolling.  
> warnings for. a gratuitous lemon bar recipe? i write in the dreaded first person? 
> 
> today's song recs: better strange by james supercave and ransom notes by sohn. god sohn is good.

How can I put this most delicately? 

My wife sucks at baking.

She’s really, really bad at it. Tremendously, disastrously bad. I can say that here for two reasons: she may keep up to date on this blog, but so do most of our other friends, and they’d back me up in a heartbeat. (Especially after the… _incident_ last Thanksgiving. Rest in peace, Miranda’s oven. Thank god for Daniel’s appliance repair skills, and, more importantly, familiarity with fire extinguishing techniques.) 

The second reason is that she is perfectly aware of the fact that she sucks at baking, and does not view it as a problem. Baking is a “coward’s sport”, according to Isabel. She will not listen to my insistence that it is not, in fact, a sport.

Reason two conveniently disappears the second she finds out I’m making these lemon bars.

She’s shockingly, stunningly good with knives. One may note that lemon bars do not typically require complex bladework. Or _ever_ require it. But if you want lemon zest, you basically have three options.

Option one: do the normal, sane thing, and buy a lemon zester. They’re cheap, lightweight, and incredibly easy to find in basically any store. In a pinch, an extra-fine cheese grater gets the job done about as well, but certainly less fashionably.

Option two: suck up your pride and use a blender. This tends to be a pretty ineffective, unpredictable options, but when you need a hell of a lot, this’ll save your poor hands from the labor.

And, of course, option three: have your wife hand-mince lemon peel for you. This probably is only an option for me, because Isabel is the only person I’ve ever known who’s able to cut the zest into pieces so uniform and fine that they’re usable in lemon bars. But she absolutely loves any excuse to show off, and — let’s be real here — I love watching that woman wield a knife.

Regardless of the option selected, I think we can all agree on one thing: If you don’t put lemon zest in your lemon bars, you’re _wrong._

Because here’s the great thing about lemon zest: if you’re juicing the lemons anyways, the perfectly good zest would otherwise just go to waste, instead of contributing more lovely citrus flavour to your recipe. And that would be a food crime. There are _no_ food crimes allowed on this blog.

(Note: Isabel, reading over my shoulder as I type, has pointed out that I put peanut butter in my coffee, and is currently shaming me for not owning up to _that_ food crime. I must now repent my food sins here. I, Renée, eat bagels untoasted. There are now two food crimes allowed on this blog.)

Another important lemon bar (and general baking) step, which I will reiterate until the end of days: use salt. _Do. Not. Ignore. The salt._ Do you know how much innocent cookie dough has been destroyed across this nation because someone left out the “unimportant” salt? Do you all understand how gross chocolate chip cookies are without any salt? Salt is the _most important thing in the universe._

Alright. Second most. Isabel is the first. Eiffel and Hera tie for third. Other friends, you’re a close fourth, but you’re no salt.

I really think lemon bars are among the most underappreciated deserts. 

I’d get into proper lemon bar storage here, but that assumes that they won’t magically vanish from the pan after about two hours, no matter how large I’ve made the serving size on these. If you really need to, stick them in the fridge. (You _won’t_ need to.)

With all that aside, here’s the final recipe.  
  


 **CRUST**  
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, fully melted  
1 cup flour, all purpose  
½ cup granulated sugar  
½ tsp salt

 **FILLING**  
5 large eggs  
5 tbsp flour, level  
2 tbsp lemon zest, grated or very finely chopped  
1¾ cups granulated sugar  
1 cup strained lemon juice  
¼ tsp baking powder  
  


  * Line a deep 9-by-13 baking pan with parchment, or coat/spray thoroughly with a neutral oil.  
  

  * Preheat oven to 325° for a metal pan, 350° for glass.  
  

  * Mix all crust ingredients together until well combined into a firm dough. Press into the base of the pan. Make sure the layer is even, with no holes.  
  

  * Once the oven is fully preheated, bake the crust for 17-20 minutes. Crust should be only very lightly golden when removed.  
  

  * While crust is baking, prepare the filling.   
  

  * Sift together the flour and baking powder. Whisk the sugar, eggs, and zest into the lemon juice, then add the flour mixture, stirring until well combined. Don’t over-whisk.  
  

  * Without letting the crust cool, pour the filling over the crust. Bake for 22-27 more minutes, depending on your oven. Let cool and serve with powdered sugar.



**Author's Note:**

> this series has been a joy, and so have you. as always, comments and kudos mean the world.  
> (and, yes, this is a real recipe)


End file.
